Saturday, February 22, 2014

Cardigan for the return of the polar vortex

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The Rocky Road sweater is done already.  You can use this fact as data in assessing how much TV I watch during the Olympics—hint:  it’s a LOT.  Maybe the faster they ski, the faster I knit?  I don’t know.  [Cross-country skiing looks like so much work, doesn’t it?  Jeesh, I can’t imagine doing that for even two minutes.  Those guys are animals.]  Anyway.

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Blocking made those changing stitch patterns look so great, so neat and orderly.  I gave the whole thing a soak in the sink, then rolled it in a towel and smoothed it out flat on the rug—no pins necessary.   It dried in half a day because [resolves not to talk about the weather] um, it’s very dry right now, and also tres cozy on the rug in front of the fire.  I really do wonder why anybody would skip blocking.  It makes such a tremendous difference.  I sewed in the ends last night during Jimmy Fallon, then crawled up to bed, where I slept the sleep of the just in the tropical oasis that is now my bedroom.  My goodness, I love my new stove so much. 

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You know Yogi Berra?  Yogi Berra is my favorite source of sage advice.  That guy was honestly overflowing with wisdom.  One of his best is this: “You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”  People often mistake Yogi-isms as goofy malaprops, but they’re not, they’re chock-full of good sense when you think about it.  See, with this one, what he really meant was this:  “Kristen, I know you think you don’t have to do a gauge swatch, but if you don’t, you’ll probably be sorry.”  Cue ominous music:

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Oh Yogi.  As ever, you were right.  I chose the wrong size, and I did not check my gauge.  I did not know where I was going.  Dang, when I think of what this sweater could’ve been.  I hope I don’t feel too compelled to unravel it and start again in a size (or two!) smaller.  (Nice to know I’m not as big as I think I am, anyway.  That’s something.)

Me, casting on, and feeling smugHeidi Kirrmaier totally has me in her back pocket.  I feel we are like this, Heidi and me.  We understand each other.  If she says use an 8, I’m using an 8.  Even though I am substituting a different yarn [Plymouth Galway, color 171—dove gray], I will not question.  Row gauge?  Who cares about row gauge?  I got this.  Gauge.  [shakes head, laughing]. 

Sweater, with evil smirk:  Foolish girl. 

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Note to self, because everyone else already knows this by now:  youse got to swatch, and then youse got to block your swatch.  How else are you gonna know how big it will get?  Duh.  It’s a foot longer than I thought it would be!  And with a sweater like this, who needs mittens?  Jeepers. 

Dean said, “You could wear it backwards, like a Snuggie.”  Yargh.  I guess I could do that.  Probably it will become one of those big ol’ sweaters I wear like a bathrobe, pretty much every day, with pajamas or yoga pants or whatever else I have on.  I’ll wear it when it’s damp outside and I’m chilled through, or when I don’t want the UPS man to know I haven’t gotten dressed yet, or when I want to wear a blanket with sleeves.  This will probably get more use than anything else I’ve ever made.  I’ll get my revenge on it by loving it more than anything.  Ha!  Take that. 

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There’s no denying it—this sweater is extremely comfy, and while way too big, huge, even, it is cozy.  Yep, that’s a win.