Saturday, September 20, 2014

Super Secret Agent Vest

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Oh, hello there.  You’ve caught me in a rare, relaxed moment.  As a matter of fact, just a few minutes ago, I was dangling by a high-tension wire into a bank vault protected by an incredibly complex maze made of laser beams.  But I do have a little time to talk. 

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Don’t be fooled by the frizzy gray hair and double chin.  I am undercover, actually.  Super-secret covert activities.  Top-level classified stuff.   Hang on, I just spotted an enemy operative, over behind the hydrangeas…

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Oops, false alarm.  Turns out it was a squirrel!  Well, you can’t be too careful.  Always on my guard, that’s how it is in this business. 

Do you like my vest?

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This is the magically-named “Long Vest” designed by John Brinegar, from the (oh no, it doesn’t say) well, some back issue of Vogue Knitting from anytime starting now and reaching back to approximately 2004.  I tore out the pages with the pattern and recycled the rest of the magazine.  Oh wait, here it is.  I changed all the edging from seed stitch to garter stitch, because seed stitch is just tedious and I couldn’t face it.  I used something like ten balls of KnitPicks Wool of the Andes in “Coal” and a US 7 needle, and it took proportionally forever to knit this, because the hem is a mysterious shape and I found it hard to wrap my little head around it.  Also, the collar is luxuriously large, which means that also took a hundred years.  It is long, long, long (I see now why the experts at Vogue gave it that name) and it covers the derriere, so I will be wearing it a lot. 

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Wearing it, I feel like I have auditioned for, but not gotten, a part in The Matrix. 

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Nobody ever laughs when Neo does this. 

33 comments:

  1. Your post made me smile a truly delightful vest perfect for this time of year.

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  2. It's lovely, exactly the kind of cardigan I like. You've made a lovely job of it, and the photos are brilliant, especially that last one! CJ xx

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  3. Love the vest! and so beautifully modeled :)
    Love your garden too.

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  4. a classic! I am sure you will use this a lot. Lovely vest

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  5. Oh, I need a vest like that! There's nothing like a piece of clothing that makes you feel like someone out of the movies.....

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  6. Love the vest, love the commentary more!

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  7. Beautifully knitted, and well modeled, too, Kristen.

    I so agree with your choice of the garter stitch for the edging.

    Have fun wearing this vest this season, you're a true Secret Agent Woman.

    xo

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  8. Love the vest and the collar looks snuggly. It still takes me ages to make a scarf, so it would take me a lifetime to attempt the vest! The pics are amazing! You make a very nice secret agent :)

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  9. Love your knitting and your sense of humour! Hope you keep both up for a long time!

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  10. Covert Ops and Covergirl!!! That 'gray hair' reads as blonde in these photos!
    You cracked me up with this post!!! Thanx I needed a good laugh and I font often find what others do amusing!!! Vest is amazing as are your poses! Love the collar!
    Enjoy wearing your latest masterpiece!

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  11. Ha ha! Perfect fit, but....where do you hide your weapon! Great photos...lovely zinnias, too. Who is the spy photographer? Moneypenny? Q? Seriously, how long did it take you to finish that looooong vest?

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  12. Well you had us all fooled with your granny squares and patchwork quilts. I bet your sporting some loaded knitting needles under that vest, which is just the perfect color and style that goes with everything in my closet ;)


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  13. he he he what a funny post!! great vest, looks fantastic on you.

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  14. LOL....I love coming here! What a gorgeous vest. You are so talented. penny x

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  15. I don't know about the movies Kristen, but you should definitely be on the stage!!! I had a quiet giggle about your post this morning and now have visions of you leaping from tall buildings in a single bound! xxx

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  16. Love this post, and the vest looks good too.

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  17. Do you like my vest? I LOVE it, it is beautiful and it suites you very well!

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  18. You keep me laughing! I look forward to each and every post of yours. Your hair looks super cute, looks a lot like mine! Awesome vest........It would take me a lifetime to knit that, but I'm willing to give it a try although I have never cared for Vogue patterns, be it knitting,sewing, etc. Thank you for a great new project!

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  19. I love your vest! And you cheer me up. Love your hair, too.
    Linda NIchols

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  20. Being undercover suits you -- you look super stylish!

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  21. Oh Kristen, how lovely and funny in equal measure!
    Thanks for this post! Your vest may not be bullet proof, but it sure looks stylish! <3
    Fantastic!!!!!!
    Ingrid xx
    http://myfunkycrochet.blogspot.be

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  22. Haha, you make me laugh:)
    I really like the collar, I have a cardigan with such a collar, and it is just my absolute favorite cardigan. Though not a handknit.
    Seed stitch is one of my favorite stitches of all time, though I agree, it is a bit of a drag doing!- So I think the garter stitch worked out nicely instead.

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  23. so you found enough daylight hours to get it finished before the gloom sets in. It is awesome and very wearable.

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  24. Brilliant! It's a lovely vest and you made me chuckle all the way through! :)

    S x

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  25. Vest = Awesome. You = Awesome + Hilarious. :D

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  26. awsome-sauce! Neo isn't funny, but you are! =)

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  27. you are hilarious and I love the vest. I think that could be a really useful winter layer.

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  28. A beautifully knitted vest and very funny words and pics. Look what happens when the kids leave town!

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  29. oh that's too funny! And I also love the vest, love it.

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  30. Your vest is gorgeous, as are you! That last pic gave had me letting out one of the loudest laughs ever, good thing nobody was around to hear me! That was fun! What a beauty it and you are! And you can't even see where you're hiding the high tension wires. Classic!

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  31. Excellent!! Your vest is fantastic - so well made and suits you perfectly.

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  32. I love your vest and I love the photo shoot!!! Looks like a super comfy wear :)

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