Thursday, April 30, 2015

Silver Linings

 

Oh, goodness. I begin to doubt whether I will ever get it together. I look around the place and am just so sick of all my stuff and I hate all my clothes, and I have to start over somehow from scratch and get it right this time. Do you all do this too? Everyone tells me this is because it's spring. Also, my hair, urgh. It is gray and curly in the completely unruly way that is not what they mean when describing the tempestuous heroine of a romance novel. It's more in the way of that famous photo of Einstein where he's sticking out his tongue.

It was my birthday a few days ago, and as a nice treat for my gray and wrinkled self, this happened:

Acquaintance, taking my hand: Hello, you're the doctor's wife, aren't you?

Me, very proudly: Yes, I remember you, it's nice to see you again!

Acquaintance: It's nice to see you too. Now, my daughter and I are having a little argument. I told her you were the doctor's wife and she said there's no way that was possible.

Me: Why is that?

Acquaintance: Well, I almost don't want to tell you. It's because you look way too old.

Me, gulping: Huh. Well, actually I'm 47.

Acquaintance, laughs, and pats my hand: I thought so! Well, it looks like I win! Have a good day!

It took me awhile to recover, and all my friends were very uncharacteristically swearing with fury on my behalf when they heard that, because I totally told that story to everyone I know. My friends are so great.


Then later, this:

Different male acquaintance: Hi, happy birthday!

Me: Thanks! (goes into the next room)

Male acquaintance, aside in a low voice to the doc: I don't know if you'd ever be interested in coming over sometime for, you know, a little casual...you're probably thinking I'm crazy, I'm so crazy! Sometimes my friends get together and we go to the basement...

Doc: Um, no thanks.

Male acquaintance: Doesn't everybody do that?

Doc: I don't think they do, nope.

Male acquaintance: Well, don't tell your wife I mentioned it.

Doc, as soon as we get to the car: You'll never believe this...(tells me the whole story)...so I guess I just have one of those physiques. (flexes muscles)

Me: Aaarrrgghhh!

So here's my current passport photo:

I need to eat less cake and more nutrients, so I made a green shake for breakfast--here's the best life hack ever, write this down--the blade attachment on my blender fits perfectly on a Ball canning jar. The threads are the same. I know! So instead of getting out the whole blender thing with the lid and then getting a glass dirty, I can just stuff all my shake ingredients (1/2 banana, 1/4 cup frozen pineapple/mango/other yellow fruit, handful fresh spinach/chard/arugula, fill jar the rest of the way with almond milk) into the jar, screw the blade attachment on, and pop it onto the blender. Whizz until smooth, take the blade off, add a straw and enjoy it straight from the jar like the hippie I am. Now, listen and learn from me: if you're going to do this yourself, stand there and hold onto the jar as it blends, because if you don't, it just might come unscrewed somehow and fall off while the blade is still spinning and fling spinach and banana and pineapple and almond milk all over your entire kitchen, which will ruin your morning but will give your dog an entire day's worth of trying to lick underneath the stove. So just keep a hand on the jar, that's my advice. Also, while we're learning things, don't try to put a zip-top bag full of chicken noodle soup into your purse.

 

My beautiful daughter was here for the weekend, and she brought me this beautiful orchid. The tiny blossoms are the size of my thumb. Fabric auditions for the next quilt are underway. Spring is definitely when the quilts start to happen. As my lovely mama pointed out the other day, I have a nice little life here.

 

56 comments:

  1. First off, happy belated birthday! Hope you had a good one. And second, that lady was totally RUDE saying that to you! Jeez! People just don't think sometimes. I love your short, curly hair! I think it looks great on you. Loved your tip about the Ball jar. I'll have to try that. I hate cleaning that blender pitcher, but I can handle a jar.

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  2. I just cannot believe how rude that aquaintance was. Every woman knows better than to say that to another woman. Sheesh! I think you are just beautiful. I was just thinking about getting a permanent in my hair so I can have curls. Funny how we're never happy with what we have naturally. Happy late birthday!!
    Blessings,
    Betsy

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  3. You gave me my first swear (who ARE these people that you are acquainted with?! Smite them!) and my first laugh (the chicken noodle soup?! You are one crazy Miss!). I suggest lying low for a while and DEFINITELY quilting!

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  4. Love your writing! Thanks for bringing a chuckle to my morning:) BTW I think you look GREAT for a woman at the ripe old age of 47;)

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  5. Ditto - love your writing ! And the tips on blending and soup, put a smile on my face.

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  6. Fellow sufferer of the partner who's just so baby faced Its embarrassing...lol..yes he's a toy boy by a few years, but a little bit of my soul dies every time I get mistaken for his mother

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  7. Suggest go to pinterest and check out styles and colors of grey.....I mean silver.....hair. You will want to go silver even faster! I love my hair, and regret the years I colored it.
    I love your projects, and your humor.

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  8. Happy Birthday!! Some people are so rude, I am surprised they haven't just shrivelled up and died with the embarrassment of what they say. You look great, and you have the most brilliant sense of humor! I would love to hear the story about the soup....

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  9. Happy belated birthday - the forties are the best years of all, and I KNOW because they are behind me and I wouldn't mind having them back! Poker straight and grey hair have I, so I would kill for your curls. As for the rude acquaintence ... she's probably just jealous because you are kind and nice and talented and have a handsome husband and hers looks like a toad and she burns toast and cannot sew a button on. WHAT! Did I say all that? lol

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  10. Ha-ha! The chicken soup had me laughing. Lately I've been feeling like I'm showing my age a bit, even though everyone tells me I look 10 years younger than my 49 years. When I see pictures, I have jowls. I never had jowls before. And I've always had big lips and big teeth but for some reason, something seems to be receding and when I say cheese for the camera, all of a sudden I have humongous teeth. It's weird. I recently cut 5 inches off my hair and after several years of doing nothing, I put a color glaze on again. Not sure if I will continue to do it but it was nice to try something different. I'm actually okay with the gray, but I have gotten lots of compliments. So many people think that going gray is taboo. I'd like to grow old gracefully. Happy belated birthday!

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  11. Happy belated birthday .... mine was last week too so all the besties are born in April! I like your blending idea .... my dogs would love the whole "under the oven" challenge! xxx

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  12. So funny. I laughed out loud. You write the best stuff. My husband I are the same age, but not long ago a casual "friend" mentioned that she just assumed I was 3 years older than my husband. I was appalled. Then I thought, "Gosh, I'm a cougar."

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  13. Happy belated birthday and (excuse my language!)...WTF!

    I am 49 and it is just a number... I'll tell you what I tell my daughter...if you would never ask that persons opinion on anything, for goodness sake don't listen to them when they air their spite!

    Unruly hair? Get a load of this (http://www.moroccanoil.com/united-kingdom/h_uk_en/moroccanoilr-treatment) and apply a weeny amount whilst your hair is wet...let it dry and reapply every morning onto dry hair to rejuvinate....never brush again! ;) It costs but that bottle will last over a year!

    I say she was jealous that you're actually aging (yes you are) beautifully (yes, you are).

    My last message...stuff her! Bloody woman!

    Irritated on your behalf!
    Nora
    xxxx

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  14. This made me laugh! Oh my, did I laugh! I guess we don't really need to ask you how you knew all about those handy tips you shared. I hope your day today is going along a little smoother.
    Happy Birthday--and you don't look old!!!
    xoxxo

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  15. I think you look quite lovely actually. I like grey-silver, it means you are brave. I stopped dying mine couple years back, I'm 41 and very proud of myself. People look at me like I'm not well but that's their problem. Certainly makes me different. But the fact is: I'm getting older, there's nothing I can do about it and it won't make me younger if I dye my hair.
    Happy birthday, girl!

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  16. Happy belated birthday. I think people just try not to grow old naturally anymore. I think looking good with your real hair colour is fantastic and I just wish I didn't go with peer pressure and dye mine. People only see silver hair these days on someone in their 70's which just shows how fake we've become. It's a shame because what I can see of your pictur, I think you look good!

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  17. What a thoughtless woman! My attitude to going grey completely changed when I realised that I know far too many people who never lived long enough to go grey. It's a blessing. I'm thankful that I have lived long enough to start going grey. I also have unruly hair - hoping that the unruliness will go as the grey comes in, but think I'm probably kidding myself! Hope you enjoyed the other parts of your birthday - this was certainly one you won't forget!

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  18. Holy smokes! That's probably the same woman who asks overweight ladies when their baby is due!
    This post made my day. Love the passport photo. I think your hair is beautiful, don't you dare dye it. I stopped coloring mine just before Christmas and I love my grey streaks. Go buy some new lipstick, the redder the better. It looks great with grey hair. Then go look at my Pinterest board called "I'll have what she's having". Grey hair rocks.
    Happy Birthday you old sausage.

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  19. She is best side-stepped I feel - honestly! You look great. My dance teacher has corkscrew hair and is growing it out into grey and she looks fabulous. Jo x

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  20. Happy Belated Birthday!

    I am a year older than you and I gave up coloring my hair about 3 years ago just so I could enjoy my silver! How anyone could be so thoughtless?

    I'll never understand why a woman is supposed to look perpetually 16 but a man can grow old with grace.

    Embrace your curls and enjoy the silver sparkles!!

    raspberries to anyone who makes you feel badly for doing so!

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  21. Might I just remind you of how truly stylish and elegant you are? Your hair has looked gorgeous at any length I have seen it. You actually look amazing and totally the equal looks-wise, of any man of any age. So the horrible person who eats lemons with every meal and is so sour, is the only one of you two who has anything to worry about. Saying nasty things to people and telling untruths must surely be spoiling her own looks. Perhaps she was seeking to make you feel unsettled and uneasy about yourselves. Unfortunately some women do like to undermine others. Please be assured really, honestly and truthfully that we see only some one to admire. Added to that, you are incredibly talented and shiny in your own right. So no matter that your husband's star shines brightly, so does yours and you are an equal companion in every way.

    I have a feeling you will still look fantastic at 90. It is innate in you. Please do not doubt yourself or your things. You are just great. Your home is beautiful too.

    Sara

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  22. You know.. you were entirely too nice to that hideous evil woman. I would have told her just how mean she was. At least I hope I would. GRRR! I was in the airport at 4 am a few weeks ago and this kid was sitting in a group of 3 seats with his backpack in the middle seat and I started to sit down in the 3rd empty seat.. and he goes.. that's taken. And I stood there and then said.. "Do you MEAN that you're going to make an old lady STAND instead of letting me sit there?!!!" He quickly was taken aback and said.. oh well.. go ahead.. I'm so sorry. SHEESH! Those of us who are treated badly need to speak up. You're gorgeous. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  23. Ah Kristen, you made me laugh out loud! Your curly hair is awesome! And grey, what grey?! Also, happy birthday! And thank you for the tips. They are very very helpful. Fiona x

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  24. Happy Birthday to you! I will be turning 47 this year too. How rude of that person to say that to you. I dont think people realise what they are saying half the time, and perhaps that person would have been taken aback if you had of said something and then realised they were rude. I get told I am old by my children all the time. I just sit and think of the one day when their children will say the same thing to them and they will realise. I hope you have a wonderful day and that no smoothie mixture ends up all over your kitchen :)

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  25. Everyone has already said what I was thinking - you look lovely to me (I am a decade older than you, and my hair is an odd combination of stick straight and unruly wavy), you have so many talents, and you have a wonderful sense of humour. I smiled all the way through your post :) Please consider writing about the soup in the purse ...

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  26. Thank you for this totally interesting retrospective - I laughed and laughed. Your writing style is so hilarious! Have you any idea how young 47 is to me?

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  27. Ha! This is about the best post that I have ever read on any social media thingy ever!!! (and I'm not in the slightest bit kidding or exaggerating!). I just sat down after a long, somewhat frustrating, but in the end, rewarding day of sewing and happily the first thing I read when I opened my email was your post Let me just say, you made my day. Yep, your clever writing and lovely life just made me smile and wish that I was your neighbor so that we could be friends. (I'm 58 next week, so you would like me cuz I would make you feel young!) Thanks for the pleasant moments I spend reading your blog! Happy Birthday!

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  28. A very Happy Birthday to you Kristen! Oh your post made me chuckle! The way you write is fab. Well, I'd say, to the sour comment, take it in a round about way as a compliment. People like that, make comments like that, when they are very jealous of something you have. So, you obviously have something very very lovely that they envy tremendously! Put downs, only serve to make themselves feel better about something they know they lack, even if they seem not to be so aware they are doing it.

    I love your hair by the way. Urgh, mine is awful. It has a life of it's own, and since hitting my forties, it seems to just have become something else completely. I need a drastic overhaul......fast!!!!!

    xxxxxxx

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  29. I love what you post and I wanted to tell you: I always read your posts wondering how you could write about your children and the things you do sometimes as if you were.. well, old enough to have children who left home.
    But when I read the style of your writing and look at your pictures I always just think of someone "young".

    I'm 26 and I have the same feeling that everything is horrible and has to be done new and right. Starting by being a few inches taller and removing a wall in my flat... To be honest I think I sometimes had that in kindergarden.
    So deffinitly spring or something only young and fresh people have ;)

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  30. Look her in the eye and say "Yes, I am a cougar! And just where is your husband?" Then go find a project that needs frogging to work it out of your system....

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  31. Well, first off, I've seen you model some of the wonderful things you've made, and I've often thought "we're the same age....she looks so...much....BETTER than I do!" We're our own worst critics.

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  32. Kristen, may I continue the Happy Birthday wishes to you, along with many thanks for the beautifully conveyed wide-ranging topics you've shared with us here!

    It seems to me that you are a very talented lady who has inherited your mom's wisdom gene. xo

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  33. Happy Birthday!
    I too am married to a man who looks younger than me and he is 5 years older....but I knew going in what I was in for....it's in the genes nothing I can do about it.
    Love your posts, you make my day.
    Carol W

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  34. Happy Birthday!
    I too am married to a man who looks younger than me and he is 5 years older....but I knew going in what I was in for....it's in the genes nothing I can do about it.
    Love your posts, you make my day.
    Carol W

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  35. you seem like such a fun person, someone I'd really love to know IRL. Thanks for sharing your stories and projects!

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  36. First of all Happy Birthday. I think you look fabulous. I am the big 50, I have gray hair and wrinkles and my waist and behind are expanding at a rapid rate. My husband is 60, we have been married for almost 24 years and I cannot tell you how many people we meet ask if we are high school sweethearts. Like what?!?!? He is 10 freaking years older than me and they always, and I mean always, say to me it is because he looks so young, which I guess means I look so old!
    Hugs to you and just be happy being the wonderful, beautiful Kristen we all know and love.
    Meredith

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  37. Ohhh myyyy goooshhh.. could not stop thinking about this..HOW RUDE..people can be soooo obnoxious..I let my hair go grey..I prefer to call it platinum..and I feel so liberated ...it kept coming in faster and faster and faster and I couldn't keep up with it... so I said the heck with it..although some days it is ornery ..i can live with it..lol..don't change a thing..we love you..can't wait to see your new quilting creation..xoxo Susie I almost forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday😊

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  38. You totally crack me up! Passport pic and chicken soup in a ziploc bag! You're absolutely beautiful and a talented writer, quilter, crafter and all around artist! An acquaintance (meaning, I know who she is, but she isn't a close friend) of mine was once bemoaning the fact that she hadn't been able to find Mr. Right. Then asked how could someone like me get a good husband and she couldn't. Truthfully, I can't believe that I was able to respond so quickly. Just said that, "some of us have it and some of us don't". If she got offended, I was ready to point out her own rude question. But that was the end of the conversation. Surprise! This ability comes from years of saying nothing and having conversations in my head of the response I would have liked to have made and generally driving myself crazy. I don't want to be nasty but standing up for myself has saved me a lot of angst after the fact. You were so gracious and your sense of humor is to be applauded!

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  39. Kristen you are a beautiful woman! I love your humor and honesty and grace under fire! Please do write about the chicken soup oh my goodness! Thanks for the laughs!
    Karen

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  40. You have actually made me laugh out loud! I'm 47 too, by the way, and going gray...gorgeously, I keep telling myself

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  41. Your passport photo made me laugh. I would ignore that woman she was probably being spiteful. My husband is three years older than me and when our daughters were st secondary school their friends on first seeing him drop them off thought he was an older brother!
    Being small and round married to a tall slim good looking man for coming up to forty years you learn to go with the flow and laugh with him about it, it's that or bury him under the patio! :)

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  42. The hair, the blender, the chicken soup - you made my day! THANK YOU!
    My hair turned grey when I was in my mid 20s and people never fail to tell me I should do something about it. However, I won't. Hang in there!! Carina.

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  43. I think you are beautiful actually. Your post made me really laugh. I am 46, my real passport photo is awful - in the UK they won't let us smile - I don't know how it is in the US. I need to smile to look OK in photos! My partner rides a sports motorbike. It was going into the garage - repair shop - when they picked it up, I told them 'Look after it'. Then later, they said to him, 'we picked the bike up from your mum' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

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  44. Happy Birthday and Happy New Year to you as our birthdays are the actual first day of our New Year! I love reading your blog and I think you are a very beautiful woman with a great design sense. Your hair is very becoming. Your home is lovely and your creations fit you and your style! Ignore rubbish as there always is some. you are who you are as there is only one you.

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  45. Oh my goodness, the rudeness of that woman! I'm kinda speechless. And did your husband get propositioned!!!! that is priceless. I hope she is socially inept and not mind numbingly rude.

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  46. You just made my day! Super post. I think we are kindred spirits! (or kindred hippies if there is such a thing!)

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  47. You just made my day! Super post. I think we are kindred spirits! (or kindred hippies if there is such a thing!)

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  48. Happy birthday! I think you look amazing and you should ignore snarky woman and all of her ilk. One thought on male acquaintance: Eww.

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  49. Happy, belated birthday! I always love your posts and get a good laugh! Ignore the lady for sure. Some people only have crap to offer because it's all they have inside. I'm always thankful to accept some of their heat and give relief to those they deal with regularly. It's really never about you.. It's about them.. Insecure. Threatened. Dull. A pity that this beautiful gift of life gets wasted on such. I just LOVE your hair, your humor, your style-sense, what you add to complete stranger's lives!! Big birthday hugs and kisses!

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  50. Don't really get the point of the whole. But the chicken soup made me laughing. Kinda hungry now. Happy belated birthday.

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  51. Happy birthday. I can't believe someone actually said that to you!! So awful. I know what you mean about the clothes and all that - sometimes I just look at mine and wish I could sweep the whole lot out of the wardrobe into the bin. But then I'd have nothing to hide my wobbly, jelly belly under. By the way, I met a friend when I was out shopping one day and I was with my now husband. She asked if he was my son!

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  52. Oh my goodness I laughed so hard at this because I too am 47. I love that someone was just so socially inept that they actually said that thing. As for the male acquaintance lord knows what he was 'suggesting' in his basement. As for the smoothie, I did that once ON A BOAT!!! I burst into tears (wasn't my boat) and proceeded to clean the galley like it was going to be used as an operating theatre. 47 is cool, don't worry about the hair or the clothes, everybody feels the same at our age which is entirely unjustified. Hugs and happy belated birthday x

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  53. SarahP in TorontoMay 9, 2015 at 11:29 AM

    You might like Tig Notaro's piece about people saying things out loud ;0)
    https://vimeo.com/54738576
    I enjoy your blog posts - thx for sharing your stories with us. I'm with the other commenter and think grey hair is a blessing. Same goes for reading glasses and wrinkles. It's a privilege to reach this far in life (I'm 47 in a few weeks!) Happy belated birthday and many more

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  54. Goodness!! I so enjoyed reading this post and you have such a way with words!!! I had to laugh at the final portrait ...sorry as much as I look I cannot see the similarity :-) As for that rude person it has to be jealousy ....poor thing!!!
    A belated,belated happy birthday ... and every pic I've seen of you here on your blog you look great!!!

    keep well

    Amanda :-)

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  55. Omg! People can be so rude and so clueless ... I think you look fabulous and that person can only be jealous ... A poor soul. Hope you had a wonderful birthday. :)

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  56. I have spent all morning sipping green tea and reading your delightful blog. I am utterly hooked. Happy belated birthday!

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