Saturday, February 22, 2014

Cardigan for the return of the polar vortex


The Rocky Road sweater is done already.  You can use this fact as data in assessing how much TV I watch during the Olympics—hint:  it’s a LOT.  Maybe the faster they ski, the faster I knit?  I don’t know.  [Cross-country skiing looks like so much work, doesn’t it?  Jeesh, I can’t imagine doing that for even two minutes.  Those guys are animals.]  Anyway.


Blocking made those changing stitch patterns look so great, so neat and orderly.  I gave the whole thing a soak in the sink, then rolled it in a towel and smoothed it out flat on the rug—no pins necessary.   It dried in half a day because [resolves not to talk about the weather] um, it’s very dry right now, and also tres cozy on the rug in front of the fire.  I really do wonder why anybody would skip blocking.  It makes such a tremendous difference.  I sewed in the ends last night during Jimmy Fallon, then crawled up to bed, where I slept the sleep of the just in the tropical oasis that is now my bedroom.  My goodness, I love my new stove so much. 


You know Yogi Berra?  Yogi Berra is my favorite source of sage advice.  That guy was honestly overflowing with wisdom.  One of his best is this: “You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”  People often mistake Yogi-isms as goofy malaprops, but they’re not, they’re chock-full of good sense when you think about it.  See, with this one, what he really meant was this:  “Kristen, I know you think you don’t have to do a gauge swatch, but if you don’t, you’ll probably be sorry.”  Cue ominous music:


Oh Yogi.  As ever, you were right.  I chose the wrong size, and I did not check my gauge.  I did not know where I was going.  Dang, when I think of what this sweater could’ve been.  I hope I don’t feel too compelled to unravel it and start again in a size (or two!) smaller.  (Nice to know I’m not as big as I think I am, anyway.  That’s something.)

Me, casting on, and feeling smugHeidi Kirrmaier totally has me in her back pocket.  I feel we are like this, Heidi and me.  We understand each other.  If she says use an 8, I’m using an 8.  Even though I am substituting a different yarn [Plymouth Galway, color 171—dove gray], I will not question.  Row gauge?  Who cares about row gauge?  I got this.  Gauge.  [shakes head, laughing]. 

Sweater, with evil smirk:  Foolish girl. 



Note to self, because everyone else already knows this by now:  youse got to swatch, and then youse got to block your swatch.  How else are you gonna know how big it will get?  Duh.  It’s a foot longer than I thought it would be!  And with a sweater like this, who needs mittens?  Jeepers. 

Dean said, “You could wear it backwards, like a Snuggie.”  Yargh.  I guess I could do that.  Probably it will become one of those big ol’ sweaters I wear like a bathrobe, pretty much every day, with pajamas or yoga pants or whatever else I have on.  I’ll wear it when it’s damp outside and I’m chilled through, or when I don’t want the UPS man to know I haven’t gotten dressed yet, or when I want to wear a blanket with sleeves.  This will probably get more use than anything else I’ve ever made.  I’ll get my revenge on it by loving it more than anything.  Ha!  Take that. 


There’s no denying it—this sweater is extremely comfy, and while way too big, huge, even, it is cozy.  Yep, that’s a win.